Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
