pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
