Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
