Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
