i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I need a hoe opinion
go on
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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