i was rollin on her like bob the builder
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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