Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize