I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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