We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
