Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
