our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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