She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
