WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
