dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
