Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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