Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Randomize
