People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
