and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize