so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
