you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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