Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
