i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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