There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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