I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
