Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
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I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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