If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
