Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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