Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
