4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
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