I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
