He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
