I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
COCAINE IS GR8
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
