I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
