im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
