Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
