What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
