2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
