we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
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