Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
