would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
They have beer where we have blood.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
