Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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