you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
