my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
you win again, gameday.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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