Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
