He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
