I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
