He had one of those small greek statue penises
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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