I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
