if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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