Why are handjobs necessary in class?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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