There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
