just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
