your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
