Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
