my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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