That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize