She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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