I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
