just survived the first fart of the relationship.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
