How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
