I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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