this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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