i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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